In divorce it is normal to have hurt feelings, maybe even feel like life would be easier if an ex-spouse was simply never around again. However, when children are involved — and an ex is a good parent — trying to stop him or her from being a part of their child’s life is selfish and hurts the child.
Time and time again we hear stories of ex-wives dragging their ex-husbands and in-laws through the mud by making up lies and exaggerating stories simply to look like the better parent in court. During this time it is typical to hear a mother say she is just trying to “protect” her children, when in all actuality her actions are hurting the children.
When both parents are good parents the children need both of them in their lives. Boys need to have their father in their lives just as much as girls. And even in situations where the divorce is particularly contentious, the divorce should remain between the mother and father. The children should not be put in the middle or made to feel like they need to pick sides.
In situations where a child custody agreement has been reached, mothers need to step aside. This means no trash-talking the father to the children and no trying to sabotage their time together with nasty phone calls. Just because a mother is mad at her ex, it does not give her the right to use the children to hurt him.
For fathers who are in this situation, where they are good men who just want to co-parent and spend time with their kids, having an ex-wife who is trying to limit contact with the kids is surely frustrating. In these types of situations, while it may be tempting to try and play the game or to argue on the phone for hours, picking up the telephone and talking with an attorney who has experience handling fathers’ rights cases will go a lot farther in protecting parental rights.
Source: The Huffington Post, “Kids Need Dads!” Monique Honaman, March 5, 2013
- Our firm understands the importance for fathers to have strong relationships with their children. To learn more, visit our St. Louis fathers’ rights page.