${site.data.firmName}${SEMFirmNameAlt} Main Menu
Call Today: 855-805-0595

Advice for putting the kids first in divorce

Divorce and co-parenting can often be hard on children. If both mom and dad are always at each other's throats, a child can feel stuck in the middle and even criticized for loving both parents.

But, on a bright note, Dr. Christine Costello, who is a clinical psychologist, recently said she's seeing more and more divorced parents working together when going through a divorce, therefore, saving a lot of heartache for the couple's children.

A recent Baltimore Sun article looked at how parents can go through a divorce and child custody in a way that will help the children.

Emotions can run high when a couple is looking at child custody matters and discussing where the kids will live, Costello said. And often times when this happens the parents make the situation about his and her hurt feelings, and not what is in best interest of the child.

Costello's advice, for both parents to be on the same page as much as possible, is to write everything down from the child's point of view and what kinds of questions he or she may be looking for about why the parents are living separately.

Having the children also journal is a healthy activity to get emotions out. However, make sure the child knows this is his and her personal feelings and that no one else is going to be reading what he and she wrote, unless he or she wanted it to be read, Costello said.

Aside from making sure to be calm in front of the children when going through a divorce and splitting up personal belongings, it is also very important to have ground rules if custody is not split down the middle. Costello said often times the weekend parent becomes the fun, cool one who is more relaxed on homework and chores and more like a "Santa Claus," buying the children presents. For the weekday parent, this makes everything very unbalanced and harder to get back into the child's regular routine. To avoid this, parents need to make sure to communicate.

Source: The Baltimore Sun, "Successful co-parenting," Jennifer Weigel, 26 Oct 2010

No Comments

Leave a comment
Comment Information

Contact Our Team To Get Help Now

Tell us about your case and we’ll get back to you promptly.

Bold labels are required.

ERROR: Please enter a site level or form specific email address in the application.

Contact Information

The use of the Internet or this form for communication with the firm or any individual member of the firm does not establish an attorney-client relationship. Confidential or time-sensitive information should not be sent through this form.

Stange Logo

Stange Law Firm, PC
120 S. Central Avenue
Suite 450
St. Louis (Clayton), Missouri 63105

Toll Free: 855-805-0595
Fax: 314-963-9191
St. Louis Law Office Map

DHQ | Divorce Headquarters Divorce
Headquarters ® App Download The App
Questions? Live Chat Pay Your Bill Online
States of Service

Other Office Locations

  • Saint Louis County: 120 S. Central Ave., Suite 450, Clayton, MO 63105: Clayton Office
  • West County: 16024 Manchester Rd., Suite 103, Ellisville, MO 63011: Ellisville Office
  • Jackson County: 256 NE Tudor Rd., Lee's Summit, Missouri 64086: Lee's Summit Office
  • Jefferson County: 16 Municipal Drive, Suite C, Arnold, MO 63010: Arnold Office
  • St. Charles County: 2268 Bluestone Drive, St. Charles, MO 63303: St. Charles Office
  • Franklin County: 5 S. Oak St. Union, MO 63084: Union Office
  • Lincoln County: 20 Centerline Drive, Troy, Missouri 63379: Troy Office
  • Boone County: 1506 Chapel Hill Rd., Suite H, Columbia, MO 65203: Columbia Office
  • Greene County: 901 E. St. Louis, Suite 404, Springfield, Missouri 65806: Springfield, MO Office
  • St. Clair County: 115 Lincoln Place Ct., Ste. 101, Belleville, IL 62221: Belleville Office
  • Madison County: 25 Professional Park, Suite B, Maryville, Illinois 62062: Maryville Office
  • Sangamon County: 400 S. 9th St., Suite 100, Springfield, IL 62701: Springfield Office
  • McLean County: 1012 Ekstam Drive, Suite 4, Bloomington, IL 61704: Bloomington Office
  • Johnson County: 7300 West 110th Street, Suite 560, Overland Park, KS 62210: Overland Park Office
  • Sedgwick County: 2024 N. Woodlawn Street, Suite 407, Wichita, Kansas 67208: Wichita Office
  • Shawnee County: 800 SW Jackson Street, Suite 812, Topeka, Kansas 66612: Topeka Office
  • Tulsa County: 6660 S. Sheridan Road, Suite 240, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74133: Tulsa Office
  • Oklahoma County: 2601 NW Expressway, Suite 411 W, Oklahoma City, OK 73112: Oklahoma City Office
  • Monroe County: 116 W. Mill St., Waterloo, IL 62298 (by appt. only): Waterloo Office
  • St. Louis City: 100 S. 4th St., #549, St. Louis, MO 63102 (by appt. only): St. Louis Office
  • Jackson County: 2300 Main St., #948, Kansas City, MO 64108 (by appt. only): Kansas City Office

The choice of a lawyer is an important decision & should not be based solely upon advertisements. See additional disclaimers here.